If I Were President Jonathan...on Fuel Subsidy

Knowing how tough it can be to lead Nigeria, we should bear with the president as he wades through the  murky waters of  our "government vs citizens" imbroglio over fuel subsidy. I pity this president.

There was a basic mismanagement in the whole saga: government was not ready! No compelling data. No convincing argument. Bad ambassadors. Bad timing. And some hubris. So far, therefore, the administration has been unable to win parliamentary support. Nor public sympathy.

Then the big spoiler: fuel subsidy benefits a cabal, it says. Really? But the constitution says NO to that. And the government MUST obey the constitution. And defend the constitution. Non?

Then the recycled joke: government agents are polluting the airwaves with poor adverts. Very poor adverts on how all our problems will be solved with the N1.5trillion cash savings from subsidy removal. Really? Where are our 2010 and 2011 budget performance videos - despite all the trillions? Mirage. Stories. Queries.

Now, the polity is polarized. But we must move on. And we must help our president.

If I were Goodluck Jonathan, I'll suspend the matter forthwith and return to reality. Do the maths. Crush the cabal. Deliver on the 2012 and 2013 budgets. Create viable and sustainable alternatives (especially transport and energy sectors). Win back the enthusiasm that heralded the Jonathan-Sambo presidency. Regain the people's confidence. Betray not the trust.

And revisit the issue come 2014.

If I Were African Leaders...on DEMOCRACY

The wind of democracy is beating all barriers and breaking strangleholds across the Arab and African worlds even as it will soon take its toll on other nations. No question. So, leaders beware!

But we focus on Africa. The AU being virtually absent in all the seismic happenings must now fully reengage if it should become relevant in the new dispensation. The past is the past only when we learn from it. Have we? Not many will say yes to that.

If I were African leaders, therefore, this is the time to face facts and embrace the truth: sit-tight syndrome is bad for all nations. All. Democracy is not a family affair, passed from father to child, to the brutal or benevolent exclusion of other contenders and the electorate. We must follow the lead of ECOWAS in confronting despots and defending democracy. Nothing less. (Thank you, patriots).

If I were African leaders, now is the time to give real bite to the peer review mechanism by asking all leaders to pledge to their nations a total commitment to democracy - in a live broadcast. They should keep fidelity with the law and obey, not manipulate, their nation's constitution.

African leaders must speak out, and promptly act - as one and all - against any violator.

2012 should keep the ugly past away!

If I Were Nigeria's Political Leaders...on Cabinet Size

Even the most optimistic political jobber knows that there can't be government jobs for everyone! And will not begrudge the appointed. We preach it to our youths, don't we? We say, "Get Entrepreneurial - it is the future!" Pray, we are right.

Now everyone knows how expensive running governments (at all levels) has been in this land - simply insane, period. And we all talk about it, moan about it, decry it, want it stopped. Well, until we get into power!

Our political leaders must cut down the size of government cabinets and infrastructure. There are too many appointees, too many institutions, too many drain-pipes, too many ghost workers! Again, simply insane.

To do so quickly and fully requires some constitutional changes - size of the federal cabinet, for example. And political will. Thankfully, the nation is ready and calling for BOTH. Let's get on with it, and cut the crap!

If I were Nigeria's political leaders - president, governors, LG chairmen, legislators, party chairmen, ministers and commissioners - I will ACT today, as we did with the ELECTORAL ACT!

Our Goal? 60 % Rightsizing of Government and its obscene costs, FREEING resources for REAL Development for Country & Citizens. Overdue.

Less than 1% consuming more than 80% of any nation's resources is simply insane. Let's cut the crap!

If I Were Wealthy Nigerians...on NUJ's HQ Fundraiser

There is something about the rich or money-bag class in this country: Very few of its members back the right causes. Even fewer do so timeously! Most prefer fanfare and a media blitz when they do give, despite how good this country has been to them.

Key Note: Hey, no bi dem money? Haba, dem fit spend or hide am - wetin concern you? No matter. Just that charity is core to humanity, and native to Africa. It is a central bead in our Extended Family beauty - the cherished code of all faiths. Kwo?

Considering what the media means to this land - from independence through military misadventures to civilian shenanigans to anti-corruption crusade to keeping Nigeria one - it is meet that we all support the Nigerian Union of Journalists comprehensively. It recently launched a One Billion Naira appeal fund to build its headquarters and  international training institute in Abuja. It barely raised 100m Naira! Pity. Shame.

Were it a political party (you know which!), our money-bags will be falling over themselves to out-bid and out-donate each other, and hugging the media blitz/limelight to boot! No matter. Just that the media outlives all. Note.

If I were the rich in Nigeria, I will write the NUJ a fat cheque tonight - yes, tonight.

If I Were NYSC Authorities...on Violence and Insecurity of Corpers

The National Youth Service Scheme will be reviewed, revamped and restructured. No question. We should all join and/or follow the process.

Meanwhile, any state that cannot or will not guarantee our children's safety during their service year must be excused or exempted - for now. QED.

If I were the NYSC authorities, this subject will be non-negotiable - not after what parents, guardians and the nation have experienced and endured in the last 12 months.

To Whom It May Concern: Make no mistake about it, the NYSC stays! QED.

Religious Leaders and 2011 Elections

Blessed be the truth-sayers for they shall be in Nigerian Pantheon. Be they clergy or laity, especially CLERGY.

We have seen unbelievable scenes of religious perfidy and spiritual iniquities in this land, including lies, frauds, distemper, heresies and hegemony. We have endured murderous teachings and outright murders, incitements and  indictments, provocations and invocations, to our utter dismay and disgust.  We don see plenty for this kontry!

But see the beauty-in-the-beast: The truth-sayers never gave up! There they were in the minority, but they mattered to justice and God' Deal for the land. So, they stood for the masses, with the masses, by the masses. We thank them. Those who thought truth will never rise are now witnessing the big surprise. They must now arise and bear witness, become witnesses of the TRUTH: God do descend for Nigeria and Nigerians o - no magomago, no wuruwuru again! The truth-sayers are being justified, soon to be edified and publicly robed in "pantheonic glory"! Yes.

If I were Nigeria's religious leaders therefore, I will root for free and fair ballots and give my congregation the education, castigation and motivation they need to choose right. They must troop out and exercise their civic and democratic right to vote. They must take this duty seriously and perform it dutifully.

If I were these revered clerics, I will preach and protest against CORRUPTION - the core problem of the land. I will join in the crusade positively, privately and publicly. I will stand up to be counted, to be known and noted on the side of The PEOPLE!

If that be so, I will urge the clergy concaves to do same...PUBLICLY. What better time than 2011? And these ELECTIONS?

If I Were Nigeria's OPPOSITION Parties...On 2011 ELECTIONS

It is good news for their individual forays. Kudos!

It is bad news for their group gang up inability! Knocks.

If I were the opposition parties in Nigeria, I would wait for 2015 General Elections. By then all the egos would have expired, all the expired politicians would have retired, all the toxin would have fizzled out, all who lost out would have sobered up, and ...

Goodluck Ebele Azikiwe Jonathan would NOT be running!

The story is as gory as it is as glory. You can choose, can't you?!

Traditional Rulers on 2011 Elections

Who hasn't seen the beauty of our natural institutions - chiefs, obas, emirs, obis, baales, district heads, et al? Who could dare them in the past? Who wouldn't attempt to dare or ignore them now?

We've had the good, the bad and the ugly. Fair. But we must not diminish or desecrate our traditional rulers and our heritage. Neither education nor religion, travels nor civilization, expects us to. So, when we see our fellow compatriots do things other people/nations won't do to our royal fathers we shudder. Now we must act.

As we prepare to act, let our fathers act. Let it not be said of them that the nation burnt and dissolved under their care and guidance. Let our traditional rulers be, well, traditional rulers - fathers of all. To do so successfully, they must be apolitical. Once they get affiliated to any political party, they compromise their natural neutrality, and become overly partisan. In which case, they become fair game for disrespect, inducements, and political attack!

If I were our Traditional Rulers, I will stop sharing chieftaincy titles and turbanning ceremonials like cookies. Let the honour be earned, hard-earned. I will be in the vanguard of moral rearmament, sustainable development and good governance. How? By backing the electorate, damning the selectorate, by promoting and dutifully defending popular democracy.

When? This April. This 2011 General Elections.

Why? Because without true democracy, no-one can defend and revere tradition, its institutions or leaders - especially our royal fathers. As our elders say, the peace of the tree is the peace of the bird! We saw it all during our tortuous military misgovernance. Never again! 

The Media on Nigeria's 2011 Elections

I have a secret wish: I hope all the friends of Nigeria will help her confront all the enemies of her democracy! And do it fast and furious, faithfully and fearlessly, with pride and honour, as once and future. Oh, I pray for the total routing of those brigands, those unbelievers, those barriers, those barracudas, who have sworn to keep her down for aye! Una don fail this time.

If I were the Nigerian Media, I will be doing what our forebears did in the beginning: they fought the colonialists to a stand-still, and won! The media should be fighting the enemies of state, the enemies of our democracy, the enemies of The Press, the looters and launderers of the nation's treasury. Deny them space and spin. Elevate the just. Celebrate true patriots. Fight, folks, fight the good fight!

Why? Why not - isn't that our constitutional role, out patriotic duty? See how horrendous it costs to consume media products in Nigeria, including ICT which is its modern backbone! Deliberate strangulation to keep the press impotent, and the people ignorant, isn't it? But dem go fail this time.

If I were the Nigerian Media, I no go gree o! We will join the battle to free the land, again. This time, for good.

Our tool? 2011 General Elections.

Expose 'em! Period.

If I Were African Leaders....On LIBYA

As always, only the international community has stepped up to the plate on the Libyan crisis. Where is Africa?
We are not likely to hear much from this continent because our leaders love to treat their matters as a "family affair"!

Look around the region and see for yourself. Now is the time to stand up and be counted. Africa must move to give all sides the space for a peaceful and violence-free outcome. And the Libyan authorities have the primary responsibility to protect and listen to their own citizens. A civil war must be out of the question.

If I were African leaders, I will send a high-powered delegation to Tripoli TODAY! Its task is to STOP the blood-letting, and broker dialogue. It will bring back critical inputs  (including facts and figures) for an urgent AU Resolution/Intervention in partnership with the UN and International Community.

Africa must rise and take a stand in this stand-off on its own soil. We must do so TODAY!

If I Were PDP on the Chairmanship Question

This is a friendly advice to the People’s Democratic Party (PDP). The issue of chairman from Chief Ogbulafor to Dr Nwodo has been one big dent to the party’s image. Both suffered from the manner of their ascendancy - appointment rather than proper election.

The post is so crucial that party members must be allowed to VOTE in a special convention for all willing well-canvassed and well-scrutinized candidates. Let the best and most acceptable to the rank and file win.

If I were the PDP, I will give all interested aspirants ONE month to campaign and bring back the same delegates of the presidential primary election to come vote for a new chairman.

This should be over and done with by February ending. He/she will be sworn in at the venue, and preside over a NEC meeting the next day - to take full charge.

As the ruling party, for now, I will do no less.

If I Were ALHAJI ATIKU ABUBAKAR on the PDP PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARY

We may not really know what he knows, but the astute politician has lost the ruling party’s presidential ticket for the 2011 General Elections. It was largely expected following the acrimonious manner the zoning issue was made the be all and end all of his campaign, and the unlikely harmony his camp sought from losers in the Northern Consensus Candidate brouhaha.

As an experienced gladiator and statesman, it is surprising that he is yet to congratulate President Jonathan on the landslide victory in the primary. General Babangida beat him to it!

If I were Alhaji Atiku, I will do so immediately; and genuinely mean it.

If I Were Performing GOVERNORS on WORKERS' Welfare

Nigerians don’t care about non-performing governors: they are on their way out!

If I were a Performing Governor, I will not throw myself out by unjustly  victimizing my state’s workers, combatively confronting them, unduly delaying action or arrogantly dismissive of their genuine agitations for better welfare - especially in an election year. I will fully negotiate, period.

This note of caution has become imperative because we do not want to lose good governors. But, hey, it’s up to them! Yet we will advise.

States are in dire need of resources. No question. But most of them are not working to earn more - they simply keep quoting federation account allocations as if that precludes internally generated revenue (IGR). If a governor sits in office for four years and does not know what to do with his state’s natural and comparative endowments, he has no business in government, period! Same for the local government chairmen. Very sad.

Generally, instead in investing in infrastructure, people and power they overload the payroll with political IOUs, hordes of parasitic aides, ghost workers, etc. They set projects aside and concentrate on overheads
costs which drain the treasury. And they travel forever! Ask EFCC, ask the workers, ask their citizens.

Then the cheekiest part: The politicians earn the FULL remuneration set by Abuja, and turn round to deny workers their own pay “because has no right to impose figures on us”! All governors and commissioners, SAs and PAs, perm-secs and DGs, LG chairmen and councillors earn the same no matter how poor their state! After service, they claim and collect their full payoffs, even as they flaunt and quote Abuja Circulars. But when it comes to workers, no dice! Apartheid.

If I were Performing Governors, I will fully negotiate. When I return, if I return, we will TOTALLY restructure government and governance. I will not DARE or DAMN Nigerian WORKERS in an election year. Not within weeks of The VOTE!